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"sorry my phone was on silent, i didn’t hear you ring" just kidding it’s always on silent i just didn’t want to answer your call.
I’m at a family party and I’m reading something on my phone and I overheard my mom tell her friends how “bright” I am and how I’m always reading something and they all looked at me and my mom was like “you see? She’s probably reading Shakespeare.”
I’m reading gay porn
*answer to math problem is 182*
*backflips off table while All The Small Things starts playing and skateboards out the window*
"how many times have you even watched that movie"
What I lack in attractiveness I make up for in Office quotes